pray for me.

so today was my first day at my practicum site & I honestly didn’t think I was ready for these next 5 weeks. * I’m a grad student majoring in School Counseling. Completing 100 hrs at an assigned practicum site is a requirement towards graduation. 

I got placed at the First Stop, Inc which is a non profit organization whose purpose/goal is to reduce the homeless population in Huntsville/Madison communities. yesterday when I called to find out about setting up an interview I learned that I would be working under an old classmate who had just recently graduated & got a position at First Stop. she told me not to worry about anything & to come in the morning so we could chat..COOL.

This morning, I woke up, got ready, googled the directions & drove to the site. When I got there, I was completely & utterly confused. it’s tucked away somewhere, down some road & around the corner where nobody ever goes, cars parked anywhere & homeless people everywhere. (“well duh Chalcia it’s a homeless place”, I know, shh) I got inside & my old classmate (we can call her Kat) began showing me around. during the tour I learned that majority of the homeless people they catered to have undiagnosed mental disorders & issues with substance abuse. this whole time were walking around the property (I don’t like saying homeless people so amma call them my “homies”) & I got to see the homies I would be working with.

the first thing she told me was the next 5 weeks would be the most heartbreaking and maybe the most dangerous experience of my life. and by the looks of things, I knew she was right. she told me there are instances when things get heated & they have to call the police. 

she told me to build relationships sigh the honked but that it was easy to become “attached” to them as well & that it was hard to see some of the things they go through. she also told me that working there has been one of the most rewarding experiences of her life & that she loves what she does & she wishes she could do more. 

the tour was coming to an end & immediately started to second guess myself & if I was gonna be able to complete my hours. I had never felt so unsure about anything in my life. I had never been exposed or experienced anything like what I saw. my energy was so low, I felt so sad. I walked to my car, got in & burst into tears. after a few minutes i collected myself and drove away. 

I spent most of today completely out of it, the thought of the next 5 weeks heavy on my heart. after speaking to a few people who all reminded me to stay prayed up & that God has plans for me & that He put me there for a reason. And that even tho I don’t know what that reason is as yet, God is also gonna give me the strength to make or through this new chapter of my life. s/o to those beautiful people, because now although I’m not super confident, I am not as anxious/confused/uncertain as I was when I left the site earlier this morning. 

& I plan to keep you guys updated with as much as I can during these next few weeks because I wanna use this blog as an outlet for myself. 

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