5.25.16

this will be a real quick post.

yesterday was my brothers birthday. well not really cause he died back in February of this year, but either way…yh.  the craziest thing about it all is that I didn’t even realize it til people started hitting me up like, “how you doing today?” “you ok hun?”. even after the third person reached out to me, it wasn’t until I hopped on Facebook & scrolled down my newsfeed, that i saw it was his birthday. 

 now if you know me, you know I’m not really that big on family, mine to be very specific. but at that moment I felt like shit because not only did I not remember his birthday, it took ppl hmu & me going on Facebook to remember.  later that day while talking to a friend I told him how I felt like such a horrible person & his response made me feel so much better. 

me: One of my brothers died in February & today his birthday but I forgot until people started hitting me up about it

him: That doesn’t make you a bad person. Most people’s brains try and block out any and everything associated with a negative or traumatic experience so it’s easy to forget.

me: sigh

him: You’re not a bad person, your brain just actually works.

my brain works. I bursted out laughing when I saw it, but as I read it out loud it made so much sense to me. my brain works! & that simple affirmation made me feel sooooo much better. he was right, my brain works & I shouldn’t feel bad for not dwelling on something that makes me feel sad & that I obviously can’t change.

needless to say I spent the rest of the day (once I got off work) in my thoughts, did some yoga, wrote in my journal, & even read some of my new book I just bought. between the trees I blew & the Brugal on top of my fridge, yesterday turned out to be a pretty awesome day.😌

*happy belated to my brother Dale Romney, RIP.❤️*

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