So…What Now?

There’s a saying that goes, “death always comes in 3’s” or so the old people them does say. As a matter of fact, I heard this idiom like 2 weeks ago & apparently the old people might actually be on to something. Never in a million years did I expect to receive the news that I did a few days ago. Not once, not twice, but three times in a row. Back to back… back. All in one week. Three people that I knew from back home in the Virgin Islands had all passed.

The subject of death has always been kinda taboo in my household growing up. If you know my parents in real life, then you know they’re not really that big on expressing their emotions. My mother didnt even cry at her own sons funeral (neither did my brother & I, but thats not the point). “Chalcia, he’s gone and theres nothing we can do about it except suck it up & move on. chin up babygirl.That’s my mom, tough as bricks! Me? Not so much. I may not cry myself to sleep like someone else might, but death certainly makes me feel all types of ways. Especially when its someone I know.

One thing I’ve learned throughout the years in regards to death is that grieving in itself is important. Grieving means to “suffer grief” & grief is defined as “deep sorrow usually caused by someone’s death”, but honestly, everyone grieves in their own unique way. While you go through this process, don’t second guess your thoughts or feelings. This is your personal journey & your’e allowed to feel whatever, think whatever or do whatever you need to in order to heal. I’ve also learned that as hard as it may be, we cannot let ourselves get stuck. Grieve because they’re gone, but hold on to their memories & keep on going!

It takes strength to make your way through grief, to grab hold of life & let it pull you forward.

Keep going because you have to. Keep going because they would want you to. Keep going because in the midst of all this hurt & pain, God knows exactly how you feel & He is right there. Even if it doesn’t feel that way, trust me, He’s there & He’s got you. 

In these moments of sadness it is imperative that we not only try to comfort ourselves, but also make an effort to comfort those who don’t have the strength to do it themselves. Be there for your friends & loved ones; allow your friends & loved ones to be there for you.

Words cannot mend our heartache, but always remember that those who care & share in your loss wish you comfort & piece of mind.

It’s time for us to pray for & with our friends & family. Pray for the friends & families of the three individuals that are no longer with us. Be there for one another so we can all get through this together. To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. Cherish their lives, do not focus on their deaths. Continue their legacies & cherish their memories because those are permanent!

Death is not an easy subject & one may never find the “right” words to say in the midst of sadness & despair, but hopefully my words resonate with someone. Hopefully my words continue to help me, help myself. My thoughts, love & prayers are with every one of you. & honestly, whether you can currently relate to this post or not, you are not alone & I am always here to lend an ear or even a prayer. Until next time babies!

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